I have a family. But the present situation is like I dun have any of them with me.

Everyone live their own lives, treated each other like somehow a nobody...other ppl may envy
Me that i have a wonderful family but I envy them more naturally as I dun feel the presence of the family of 9 living in the 5-room flat of mine...looks similar to kingdom hearts's heartless world...makin use of ppl is wad I see in this house and outside world...

It has de feeling that I'm de only one who lives there since there's no interaction between each other...

Due to family issues happen in the past, the family has been more quieter than before...I'm still fine with the present of 9 of them cus I can still see them when there's time...

I still dun like the present situation though!!!!!!!!!

No matter I wrote about my family, I will cry cus I wish to have a heart-warming family like the any cute anime or dramas...I think half of my body is still emotional cus only one eye is still flowing the ironic tears out...

Shall I be a empty shell to the outside world as I'm to used to be alone.... Even when I'm outside with friends, my soul is like half alive with them....

When I have no topic to talk to them, i'll jus keep silent and they will have a thought that why am I quiet in them as previously I'm de most liveliest in them...

To make me more lively, I have to watch the clips of
NEWS. TEGOMASU & ARASHI since they are always the ones who makes me lively through itouch or lappy screen. But it only maintain a short moment. I think I will not meet any of them alive even I visit Japan next yr or in future....

But massu, u know I've yearn to meet you since I've known your presence in Japan

I really love you love you alot more than anyone else... Hope, wish I can see you!