I hate finding ppl talk abt my problems cus they are passer-bys which I should not pull them into the prob.

As I dun have much friends in de circle, being restricted since young. That's why I'm so introvert even though I tried being an extrovert.

I'm so tired trying to be a person who others want me too... My mental is at it's wits ends.

Now stuck who I am, no one can change. Change is a moment, not forever. The idiom in Chinese sure is true.

狗改变不了吃屎

What I'm being formed into, is thanks to my "beloved family"...ridiculous, I'm not being sad abt what I'm writing. Guess my tears are dried up on them... Now I have only "Hate" in them since we dun like see each other, ridiculous.

I wish I can move out of the house and live my life, without being restricted.

What I have to do now is to move on from marche... Since there's not my destination as wad I told my ppl around, find a new place which attracts me doing part-time.

Office work is not my type I guess as I dun like working in a too quiet place, or too loud place... A place with the music I like would be good.

有人说家人是最棒的。我相信，但是我的家人却不是。我是被排挤的一的就跟大哥一样，反正我就跟大哥一样每天惹是生非。为了什么？ 就是要被关注一点被关心。

反正我的童年，阴暗胜过阳光。找朋友也不是因为不想长篇大论，家人又没信任。家家有本难念的经，而我的经书是没有像样的结局。

找你说？放屁！ 只会过河摘桥...和她相处好一点就挑拨离间，害我和她的关系又变回中点。

你很厉害吗？ 我不觉得你厉害。 要我把你当成榜样跟着学，这是不可能的事。在我心里成了根茨的你，过了十年，二十年都不可能。

你会做人？ 是，会做人但此「做人」非比「做人」。 会利用别人是就乱来，没用途的人就不管，害人。告诉是非。

舜发于畎亩之中，傅说举于版筑之中，胶鬲举于鱼盐之中，管夷吾举于士，孙叔敖举于海，百里奚举于市。
　　故天将降大任于是人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行拂乱其所为，所以动心忍性，曾益其所不能。
　　人恒过，然后能改；困于心，衡于虑，而后作；征于色，发于声，而后喻。入则无法家拂士，出则无敌国外患者，国恒亡。
　　然后知生于忧患，而死于安乐也。

但愿诗词的最后一句能灵验，「死于安乐也」。

I have a family. But the present situation is like I dun have any of them with me.

Everyone live their own lives, treated each other like somehow a nobody...other ppl may envy
Me that i have a wonderful family but I envy them more naturally as I dun feel the presence of the family of 9 living in the 5-room flat of mine...looks similar to kingdom hearts's heartless world...makin use of ppl is wad I see in this house and outside world...

It has de feeling that I'm de only one who lives there since there's no interaction between each other...

Due to family issues happen in the past, the family has been more quieter than before...I'm still fine with the present of 9 of them cus I can still see them when there's time...

I still dun like the present situation though!!!!!!!!!

No matter I wrote about my family, I will cry cus I wish to have a heart-warming family like the any cute anime or dramas...I think half of my body is still emotional cus only one eye is still flowing the ironic tears out...

Shall I be a empty shell to the outside world as I'm to used to be alone.... Even when I'm outside with friends, my soul is like half alive with them....

When I have no topic to talk to them, i'll jus keep silent and they will have a thought that why am I quiet in them as previously I'm de most liveliest in them...

To make me more lively, I have to watch the clips of
NEWS. TEGOMASU & ARASHI since they are always the ones who makes me lively through itouch or lappy screen. But it only maintain a short moment. I think I will not meet any of them alive even I visit Japan next yr or in future....

But massu, u know I've yearn to meet you since I've known your presence in Japan

I really love you love you alot more than anyone else... Hope, wish I can see you!

WTF!!!

Ur temper can control or nt?
I wanna take Mc frm work cus I too tired also can't.

U say u tired...wad abt me? I'm also working hard for my uni and personal fees...wtf, have u understand my feelings or nt.

Even though u are elder than me in status, where's de respect u taught me. All throw into rubbish bin liao...wahahahahah

I wanna to see happy family, nt a family all give black face