私は光です
本当の名前: EiLeEn Tan (イーリン・タン)
日本名「自分に作るて」: Sakurazaki Hikari, 櫻崎 光
誕生日: 14 Sept 1990


大好きと事・物
    私のダリーン、増田貴久
スポーツ[ 特には武芸とアイスースケチン ]
唱歌 と 踊り
姉妹 と 友達
彼方ーちゃん
NEWS、HEY SAY JUMP と 5566
音楽
アニメと漫画
ジャニス事務所 Photobucket



私の願う.
- SLIM DOWN "(>.<)"
- frenz'n'family'tgt'4eva
- excel 'in' everythg 'I' do
- be with my darlings 4eva
- NEWS/テゴマス CD & DVD
- NEW iouch
- getting N1
- NTT Docomo/softbank hp[white]
- able to do cosplays now and then


私の嫌い物.
only those who noe mii well noe wad i hate


さけぶ.






ありがとう.
designer' X|X base codes' X|X


fucking pissed off
Saturday, August 16, 2014 1:43 AM

U asked me whether i wan to go japan or not.
U ACTUALLY ASKED!!!
I said next time cus i dont want to go japan to just have fun. i wan to learn more of the language!
A month ago, i asked u whether i cant go japan for a month for a learning programme,
u said "give me all information and i'll will decide"

i gave U.
i waited FOR A REPLY,I WAS ANXIOUS ENOUGH TO MSG U
weeks and end of july  u said i can let u go but are u going alone?

I EMPHASIS THAT I'M NOT GOING ALONE.
WHO THE HELL AM I STUPID ENOUGH TO VISIT A COUNTRY WHICH I DIDNT GO BEFORE AND ALWAYS DREAM TO GO.
I HAVE AN ADULT AND SHE WENT TO JAPAN BEOFRE.
SENSEI HAVE ASSURE ME THAT BOTH IKOMA AND AOYAMA SCHOOL WILL ALWAYS HAVE CONTACT ON STUDENT'S SAFETY.

AND U STILL SAY 
"THINK THROUGH AND TELL ME AGAIN DO I WANT TO GO OR NOT"
IF I DON'T WAN TO GO,WHY I TELL U!!!!

U QUESTIONED MY ABILITY IN SPEAKING, LISTENING AND WRITING IN JAPANESE.
I'VE GONE THROUGH CLASS TO EARN A BASIC LEVEL AND  I FEEL NOT ENOUGH
I'M AIMING FOR HIGH LEVEL CERT SO I FEEL ACCOMPLISH AND IS GOOD ON MY RESUME.

U ALWAYS QUESTIONED MY ABILITY IN DOING THINGS.
MY DEGREE, U ALWAYS ASK ME TO GET A JOB CONCERNING MY DEGREE.
WTF MAN! WITHOUT THE DUMB PAPER HOW CAN I GET A JOB WHICH LINKS ENOUGH WITH MY DEGREE.
I'M WORKING FUCKING HARD ON IT AND U MADE ME FEEL IM SPENDING UR FUCKING MONEY DOING NOTHING.
U THINK GETTING A JOB IS EASY IN SINGAPORE? 
FUCK NO!!!

I'M TRYING MY WAYS TO IMPROVE MYSELF IN MY OWN LEVEL, IM NOT THE SAME WITH MONSTERS, THE 3 OF US WALK DIFFERENT ROUTES IN LIFE, DUN FUCKING PUT US IN SAME ROUTE.
IM NOT A ENGINEER TYPE, IM NOT A DESK-BOUND TYPE PERSON.
I LIKE TO MINGLE WITH PEOPLE AND KNOW ABOUT THEM.
IM NOT A 100% BUSINESS PERSON 
SO FORGOODNESS SAKE, 
DUN PUT ME IN THOSE LINES !!!!!!

U SAY I WILL FORGET WHATEVA I'VE LEARNT IF AFTER I CAME BACK FROM JAPAN,
R U CHALLENGING MY MEMORY LEVEL???
U THINK I'VE SPEND 6 YEARS SELF-STUDYING JAPANESE FOR NOTHING.
WHY I NEVER SPEND MONEY ON PROPER BASIC LESSON IN EARLY STAGE CUS IS UR FUCKING MONEY IM USING.
I DUN WAN TO BE SAID THAT IM WASTING MONEY ON A USELESS LANGUAGE LESSON.
EVERYTHING I'VE LEARNT UP TILL NOW IS DUE TO PASSION.

WHY I'VE STOPPED ICE-SKATING AND PROPER WUSHU CLASSES?
ICE-SKATING: I'VE STOPPED  DUE TO PROMISED WITH MUM IF I'VE NOT DONE GOOD IN EXAM IN THE PASS.
WUSHU: TIME COMMITMENT. I'VE BEEN IN TOUGH STAGES DURING POLY LIFE. UPs AND DOWNs, EVEN THAT STUPID LECTURER LOOK DOWN ON ME, FUCKING MAN WITH THICK FACE HOLDING A PHD [U LOOK DOWN ON ME AND I DUN FUCKING CARE CUS UR PERSONAL CHARACTER SUCKS TTC]

EVEN THOUGH MY PASSION FOR THEM HASN'T DIMINISHED AT ALL!!! JAPANESE IS A BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE WITH OTHER EUROPE LANGUAGES AND ETC [I WILL WAN TO LEARN GERMAN, ITALIAN FRENCH SOMEDAY ]

U MAY THINK MY ATTITUDE TO U TONIGHT IS FUCKING LOUSY,VICE VERSA, U'RE FUCKING ATTITUDE IS AS LOUSY AS IT IS.

MY FRIEND IS WAITING FOR ME, WE'VE BEEN DECIDING TO GO JAPAN TOGETHER SINCE YEARS AGO.
I WAS HAVING HIGH HOPE WHEN U SAY THAT U CAN LET ME GO
U WANT ME TO THINK THAT I HAVE DOUBTS ON MY OWN,

I CAN TELL U I DONT HAVE ANY DOUBTS,
I WANT TO GO TO THIS COURSE BECAUSE I'M ATTENDING HIGH LEVEL JAPANESE EXAMS THIS FUCKING DECEMBER.I CAN MAKE USE OF THIS CHANCE!
AND
WHY I NVR GO FOR PROPER CLASSES? 
IF I WANT TO STUDY, 
I CAN STUDY IN SINGAPORE JUS FOR LEARNING THE LANGUAGE.

MISTER,
LEARNING A LANGUAGE IN SG ISN'T ENOUGH AT ALL.
THE NATIVE TEACHERS ARE GOOD BUT THEY DUN REALLY CARE U UNDERSTAND THEIR TEACHING METHODS, I CAN UNDERSTAND THEM CUS MY FUCKING 6 YRS I'VE SPENT ON SELF-LEARNING.
IM NOW IN A STAGE I FEEL THAT SELF-LEARNING IS NOT ENOUGH,
STUDYING JAPANESE LANGUAGE IN SG IS NOT ENOUGH.
TO HAVE MORE KNOWLEDGE, VISITING JAPAN IS  RELEVANT!!!

U ACCUSE ME OF NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEAK JAPANESE.
FOR GOODNESS SAKE, I CAN SPEAK, LISTEN AND WRITING FLUENTLY.
U DUN ANYHOW ACCUSE ME CUS U NVR SEE ME SPEAKING INFRONT OF U AT ALL.

I'VE NEVER BEING REAL MAD OR REAL PISSED OFF SINCE YOUNG,
BUT AT THIS TIME THIS MOMENT,
I AM FUCKING PISSED AND ANGRY
CUS U GAVE ME A FALSE HOPE,

OTHER PEOPLE GIVING ME A FALSE HOPE, IM OK CUS THEY ARE NOT 100% CONNECT WITH ME  
BUT 
BUT 
BUT 
YOU
ARE,
YOU
DAMN
ARE!!!!

IM DISAPPOINTED

I WILL NOT GIVE UP IN HOLDING THIS CHANCE!!!!




Diary entry of C2age 2014
Monday, May 12, 2014 12:52 PM

was sad when bus delayed due to jam n cus my msia peeps sad even though they keep sayin is alright. Was happy to see mac, haku n satoshi fer first time. Apprently they know each other den it was great there were no awkwardness between us in the bus throughout the bus ride. Lots of diff. Topic convo.

i was totally excited for c2age meetin reika, hiiro n zeasonal(influenced by ming) !!!! i stayed over ming's cousin hse while my frens stayed at hotel(2boys leh i cant stayed with them plus know them fer first time..awkward much)
woke up early n prepare
not really super packed but still alot of ppl. meet new frens other than ming n lester(mk bf),keith, alvin n other girls.

the committee.is not really efficient. they did nt give out timeline of the schedule for the event(only got on 2nd day. WTF)
BUT I GET TO SEE REIKA N HIIRO WHEN PURCHASING PHOTOBOOKS N PHOTOCARDS...handshook n hug them. they are really nice.
minh gwas wearin my jean wign reika cutely said "jean !!!" i find it super cute tooo.
i really hope to help her as a translator n skw for her n hiiro b other jap cosers...like sakuya, touya n naoya(wan to help her most cus she is sooo cuteee)
after  the purchasing session. we went walk around n gt alot of cute button batch n phone straps for myself  n my frens
we wanted to look for reika n hiiro butwe dunno where r they n when we ask the staffs. they simply said "im not sure, can u please ask other staff" n "im jus a volunteer here, i not so sure" ..im like omg...even a volunteer should at least know the basic infos of the event. this is kinda pathetic.... ming was surprised abt it and so do i.
so we went to main ground n look at other cosers n took photo of them
for me i didnt get to take much cus i was kinda tired. haha but i didnt get to take photo of gon..she did a pretty fair job.

till 5plus. ming n i were at the gaming floor resting frm running around taking photos.
when i nearly doze off,ming woke me up cus she saw zeasonal. she was like "lets go leta go"
we said hi n grB her for selfie n full shot n i got another idol coscard !!!! frm thailand.
when we hug to bid gdbye till tmr
she sorta molested(she squeezed my side fats..hahax)...truth to say she is bloody skinny...i wish i can slim as nice as her
and day1 ended.
went makan .chitchat n i went to stayed with the boys to help them with their video shoot. hmmm hope the results are well (shoot till 3am, we made alot of noise n was fun i did my first tym shooting as well as trying to did how a action director would do)
(but kinda sad didnt stayed with ming to hang out around more,why am i too kind)
well.during the day, the boys n i were,separated cus they meet their frens n meet new frens while i hang out with my dear sistaz.

day2 was a blast.
woke at 7.30am  reach location at 11plus(ming they all had  blast previous n woke up late)
we planned to jus go for the meet greet cus we found out zeasonal sama woke up at 8 30
so ming and i went shopped abit n makan  while boys hang out cus they cos natsu n grey duo(i was kinda happy with my make up n drawing skills cus i did their make up n was my first tym did both natsu n grey)
after makan ,we went searching for the meet n greet location. we found the line  n some ppl jus created a new line n crashed it im. i was like WTF !!! ming n i told them nicely but they ignored n but we dun wan to make a scene so we told the security den they leave. fuck. ppl queue fer long tym n u jus dun care n cut it. how ungenerous n ugly mannerisim(i think they threw away)
and one photographer told us the meet greet wasnt there but some where else but we didnt buy it cus earlier some crew alreadyade announcement. wanna cheat us. we are not kiddies dude. nice try
well.
we managed to get into the hall ...took photos.photos signatued by idols,  hand shook n hug them.
zeasonal sorta remembers me cus she molested me again. haha i wish to meet her again (pls come singapore)p
i spoke with hiiro sama n reika sama in jap.
i the chat were great n  told hiiro sama to visit singapore  cus is hard to see her n is her first tym out of japan ???(im not sure)
n of cus reika sama...wonderful woman with the prince aura under  jinguji ren's outfit..
i told her i will meet her agaib in singapore
wait wait wait. when i stood infront of hiiro n reika. reika said "jean jean kita !!"
i felt soo happy n honored to be called by her. i only get them to sign the photo cards n not photobook(left in lester's car)
after leaving the hall.
we went to the epson photo booth n wait for a photo taking session with the idols. i was excited cus i wasnt able to take photo with reika sama n hiiro sama
the sHootin tym was delayed bcus of clive n his workshop but the shoot went ahead without him.
but as tym delayed, the tyming for the bus trip back to sg was shorten. i was panic cus the photo printing was delayed as well so i went up n ask to pace up the printing n luckily it was done with much begging. n we leave the location n head the lrt monorail to reach the bus stop .luckily we reach in time.
thanks my ming fer inviting me over n thanks my msia peeps for their  hospitality esp their jokes n laughterz
nxt tym is CF so lets meet again then !!!
hope other events in making detailed infos for ppl in events else we'll be blinded somehow. we need to see the people we need. thats why we are there !!!!

now in bus returning to sg. is such a fast event n need return to the society on tues so buck till nxt event.

shall i cos for acm...dun have feels to do it leh...haha shall see then : )

oh yea abt the boys haku n satoshi. we hang out fairly, not much awkwardness but mayb due age gap, mind set definitely different esp with haku ...he is a boy with own view but he is still growing so i hope u will understand more things
satoshi. a bishie with cute voice. dun b afraid of ur voice. all humans are unique. love ur cosplays. u can get better de : )
thinks he will get popular in no time but hope u dun b so arrogant unlike someone.
hahax

mac. not forgettin him.
interesting chap.
interesting interest against human n stuffs.
but i still his uke form cus i can sayang him. haha... hope we can get aLong well in future. haha

thats all abt my trip to c2age 2014 : ) tadah...ciaoosssuuu

but ONE MAIN POINT!!!

HUMAN FROM ANYWHERE ON EARTH!!!!

PLS KEEP MANNERISM ALIVE DUN JUS THROW AWAY AFTER LEARNING THEM!!! IS REALLY HURTING WHEN U DIDNT SHOW GOOD MANNERISM IN PUBLIC EVENTHOUGH IS TOWARDS SOMEONE U DUN KNOW IN UR LIVE

BUT PLS B NICE N GENTLE TO OTHERS N DUN IGNORE WHEN PEOPLE ARE TALKING TO U IN UR FACE!!!

IS REALLY DISRESPECTFUL !!!

GOOD DAY !





ごめんごめんごめん
Monday, March 17, 2014 10:21 PM

とうちゃん
あなたのまえに泣いてごめんな
だって、子供の時からいいまであなたは一回怒られない。
おれは悪いのこ
おとなじゃない
いつもこどもみたい。
何回かな? とうちゃんの前に泣いている。ちちあいt欲しいかな。。。

すみませんでした.
もう子供やられない
もっともっと大人になれる
やくそくする。





Everyday life
Monday, March 3, 2014 10:00 PM

2014 started.
Jan and feb was bustling
Sch, work,valentines and cny...

Met alot of good cosplay frens last yr dec2013---levi girls.
A small step to cosplay society
Know more n more frens from that world
Im glad
My cosplans for 2014  increased gradually. i'm excited for my photoshoot and videoshootings
Hope cosplay 2014 will be great.

School has been doing well gradually
1mre yr to finish degree
I will work in psychology sector as part tym to gain more experience to continue study.

My another career plan has starting planning without much ppl knowingly.
It will come true. Mei lets work hard for it.

March start le
And soon will be mid of 2014.
Time pass very fast

Need work hard physically to slim.down so can make izanami dress n better for me to cos other character.

Plan to join california gym
So work more hard to slim
Diet wise will control myself
Hope can slim down 20~25 by  june july

Ganbatte
Hikari
Ganabatte





メリクリスマス
Thursday, December 26, 2013 3:59 AM

Shino!!?
Merry christmas 2013.
I had a great tym meeting stars...is been a month.
To me : 我们见面有如时隔三秋(没那么夸张;哈哈)…但见面时还是能谈如细水长流…这叫好友谊

We had ace's family's chicken rice(2nd tym havin it)..is one of the nicest chicken rice i ever had.
Den we exchange present.
Ace tot of each of us askin qns in order to get the qns.

And the qns i thought of is
"What countries are being regard as the G8?"

They were quiet for a while. Well, this is world history related and well known so i tot is easy for them well they got the answers correct by each other but in de end
ace got my gift- dream catcher
i got binglong's-2014planner and a book(the rules of love hahax)
bing long got keong's-book as well (the 8way of excellence) and
keong got ace's- chateau 2010 french wine

Keong always so lucky to get ace's wine(previously got a digital cam)

Wonder next yr how (abit to early, still xmas period ) ahahahx

Den we go and watch jacky chan's movie-police story
Was damn good..solid storyline and movie effects.
Binglong was a spolier keep saying the things tht will happen in the movie.

We took grp photos, is been a while taking photos, not old to take photos at which age. Shall take everytym when we are tgt. Good memory being taken down anyway.

Den keong went home den the 3 of us walk a while (powerbank shopping)den go parkway parade mall  and makan.

We chatted alot. r/s targets, life, work etc.
Since we are all singles so we all concern with each others love life...
Well, i told them i recently sealed away my feelings for my fren(a***) and i did told that i got slight crush on a senior back in rp...hahax...

我对你的友谊我从不质疑…
就算你对我的人格,看法大有不满我早就知道…
我不是傻瓜…你说没事,我会相信吗?
但我仍然把你视为朋友,因为我以为你会慢慢接纳我,因为我们认识久…

私は事実の事見つけたいですので、いっぱいのこと考えました。
むかしのじけん、もしかして、シンハンニンはあなたが?
だってぜんぶのこと、ふたりだけのひみつ、きみにしがない。
しんじられないですけど、ぜんぶのゆみはあなたにむこうします。
ほんとうにしつぼうです、きみに。だいじなしんゆうにみたいので、もしほんとうにはあなたなら、なんかあなたがにんげんがしかくです。
皆にそうだんした。いまのあなたはわたしはもうしらない、本当にしんかくわるいなおまえ。

Well, i shall not further on.
Im still looking forward in meetin stars for cny.
Shall sleep now..ltr meetin mei...
Night shino





だいすきだった。
Monday, December 16, 2013 5:28 PM

やっぱもういいかな、あなたの片想いがやめます。

別好きな人があるですけどこころなかで、あなたの雰囲気ずっとあります。

今までいつも後悔してます。昔こくはくかきたんだのメールに
",おとうとみたいにすきになった"
この句子こうかいしました
やっぱりー
"おとこみたいにすきになった"
ほうがいいねでも、結果はどちでも分かります。

ここで書きの目的にはありません。ただ、全部書きには気分いいなさそうなんです。

いいひとになってね、この気持ち封印します。バイバイ(TT)

今まの四年間ありがとう、れん





EOY!!!
5:18 PM

SHINO !!!!

EOY was hot hot hot !!!
I meant weather hot
Scorching sun.
But luckily 4plus started to get windy and slight drizzling

Meet ny Survey corp.
New friends - zen & retsu chan (cute eren & cool heicho)
Starie's friends.all are nice ppl.
Had great curry dinner with them..shall have that curry again!!!

And OF CUS NOT FORGETTING !! JAZZ & EMU !!!! My NIFs
I swear im very despo to see them...cus we like super rare to meet up, esp jazz who is now studyin in aussie..so im very happy to see her.
Hope she will like my surprise for her xmas present.

And i encounter a super nice mother who kindly drive us to eoy location...hardly see such nice person in sg now...

Got great loot ytd as well, sakura necklace, pikachu and gareki badge for myself, got a haruka badge for meow meow,and a pokemon bracelet for bekitan, hope she will like it. Still thinking to get other stuffs for her as CNY present.

Gonna get my coscard done soon.
I keep receiving pretty coscards from my friends and they are actually excited to see mine.
I dunno where to print it out and dunno photographers to get photos shoot.
Shall try myself first with selfie shots.

Shall i do chrome  or sasuke first.
Or gareki card.

Think think think

My EOY REPORT IS DONE FOR NOW!
Ciaooosu